Retirement can come sooner than most of us expected. After a few decades working in an office, the time will come that we will retire that suit and probably trade them in for gardening clothes. Some are excited just thinking about retirement. They are already preparing a long list of things to do immediately right after retiring. But for some, they are anxious about retirement. Getting used to 40 hours a week minimum in the office seems an awful lot of free time.
Retirement also brings a good question in second marriage. As retirees try to prevent retirement funds from retiring before them, marriage is another issue. Divorce or death of a spouse is inevitable and for retirees, this is just as a reality as most for most of their younger counterparts. But their age and situation in life makes it just a little more complicated than most. Having a new partner in life can be quite a challenge after the initial feelings settle down.
Divorce is all too common in the country. Survey from Statisticbrain.com shows that 3.4 out of 1,000 gets divorced. This may seem small but multiply that with the current population and you get a lot of people leaving marriage. Retirees are not an exception whether leaving the marriage because it is not working anymore or the other partner dies. But some find another partner to spend their retirement with and this is where it gets tricky especially when it comes to finances.
Finding love the second time around in retirement
Finding love or companionship for retirees can and does happen. Love is not only for young people. Older citizens can love just the same as their younger counterparts, if not more. But talking about retirement and marriage should always include the topic on financial management. Money and finances should be talked about before tying the knot again in retirement.
USAtoday.com came out with an article about retirees finding love again and in the midst of pension, remarry. There are a few complications in marriage with retired people because of children, stepchildren, assets, credit, debt and other things that may not have been present during the first marriage.
Here are some things the retirees need to look out for before walking down the aisle again.
Soon to be re-married couples talk about a million things before they tie the knot and one important topic is finances. More than knowing each others favorite food and places to travel to and if they will get a dog or a cat, sitting down and talking about finances is important to make the marriage work. It has a few more challenges because of the state in life the partners are in.
It now includes pension, savings and emergency funds. It could also include investments outside savings that needs to be talked about. Having a transparent line of communication and making sure the other is updated and in the same page as you are with the finances is important to make the new marriage works.
Expenses should be part of the discussion as well. If there are debts still being paid, bills and other utilities and other living expenses should be properly discussed to make the relationship work. It will be quite hard to live a normal day to day life when you do not even know who will pick up the bill for the cable, groceries or book that ticket for that vacation in Hawaii.
Credit reports is a reflection of how well you manage your finances. It shows a quick picture of your payment habits with just a number. It can say a lot of things about you as a borrower and reflects your level of financial literacy as well. Credit reports are important as well in maximizing other loan and credit opportunities that you might need in the future.
This is another topic that should be discussed before remarrying at retirement age. Check your credit score and talk about it with your soon to be spouse. If you find any errors, report them right away so you can fix your credit report. Talk about the financial struggles you had along the way and try to learn from them as a new couple. You can even talk about how you saved for retirement in spite of debt.
There are documents that you might have prepared a long time ago that you would need to update when you remarry. Changing beneficiaries in your will and other documents is one them. It is best to talk to your lawyer about the changes needed with your new marriage and how to go about updating the information on legal documents you have.
A lot of people look at pre-nup agreements as a protection for the wealthier spouse. It is meant to separate the finances of the two prior to entering marriage. There are advantages to having a pre-nup at retirement age and it is best to talk about it with your soon to be spouse if you are both comfortable with it. Look at it as doing it for the kids, if any, because it could be the spark of nasty discussions down the road.
Here is a video about remarrying after retirement:
Marriage after retirement
Just as you are thinking of work ideas during retirement, you should also be working on some possible problem areas retirement brings to marriage. Here are a few of them.
- Unemployment brings low self esteem. Some people have put too much premium in their work that retirement decreases their self-esteem thinking they are not doing anything worthwhile. They feel a big empty space has carved up into their lives and there is nothing they can do about it.
- Health. Retired people are usually more prone to health related issues because of old age. There are more complications for older people and treatment might be longer and more expensive.
- Lifestyle. Two people coming into a retirement status and having to find themselves together for 24 hours a day for 7 days a week are finding it challenging to merge their lifestyles together. Over the years, each partner has built up a routine around specific interests. The problem is that these interests might not be the same or even compatible with their partner.
In light of these problems surrounding a married couple in retirement, here are a few things that they can do to address them:
- Find a hobby – Retirement should be based on a financial target and not by age. If done correctly, the lack of self esteem may originate from not having to do anything anymore and not the paycheck. The best thing to do is to either look for a hobby that you can enjoy doing or better yet, expand a hobby you already have. It is best to include you partner into it and see if you both can enjoy incorporating it in your retirement years.
- Regular check-up. Prevention is always better than cure. Visit your doctor regularly most especially when you get older. This is not only to address any possible medical situation that is creeping up but to give you peace of mind as well.
- Thinking of your spouse. Building a lifestyle outside the interests of your spouse might have happened because of all the time away from the house and into work, Now that you are retired, it is a good idea to create a new one that factors in both of your interests. Take into account the the things that both of you like to do and build on that. She might love to cook and you’re the best salesman in the neighborhood. You can start a small business where your wife cooks and you sell them to your neighbors. It does not have to be the same, they can also be complementing each others interests and strengths.
Retirement is an exciting part of your life. If you find yourself re-marrying at this point, your finances should be one important consideration and topic before saying “I dos.”