Did you know that dating rules can also help you manage your money? We found a couple of rules that you can actually use to find a partner for life and at the same time, give you pointers on how you can manage your finances.
The truth is, money and relationships have a huge influence on each other. It may be materialistic to say this but the way a person manages their finances will influence the success of your marriage. According to a study published on HuffingtonPost.com, a couple that argues about money early in their relationship have a higher chance of getting a divorce. This study was done by Sonya Britt, a researcher at Kansas State University. The study revealed that this particular argument is a top predictor of divorce.
Of course, we are probably getting ahead of ourselves. Going into a relationship would mean finding a date first. Although a date does not necessarily mean it would end up in an exchange of vows, you still need to be careful about who you will meet. Try not to waste your time and money dating someone that you know will not be with you for a long time. There are many characteristics to look for in a serious relationship and money is definitely a factor that should influence your decision. That means if you want your relationship to last, you need to spot the smart spender among the crowd of single individuals.
That being said, let us think about the dating rules that you can follow in order to find that special person that you will spend the rest of your life with. And while we are at it, let us look at how these rules can help you manage your finances and improve it just in time for you to finally settle down.
5 rules that will help you find “The One” and manage your finances too
There is an interesting article published on PsychologyToday.com that further proves how money and relationships are connected to each other. The article cited a written piece by Samantha Henig in Glamour magazine revealed how people browse through online dates like they were shopping for a product. Sometimes, the way they are picky about their dates are similar to their shopping habits. If you want value for your money, you need to pick the right product.
It seems that the same concept is being applied to dating. To illustrate the relationship between money and dating further, here are 5 dating rules that you can also use when you manage your money.
Rule 1: Know yourself to understand what you want out of a partner.
Before you can figure out who you want to date or end up with as a partner, you need to understand yourself first. Have a solid idea of who you are so you know the characteristics that you will look for in your partner. This same concept is true when you are managing your finances. In order to manage it properly, you should have a firm grasp of your own need and goals for the future. That way, you can manage your money in such a way that will fulfill your needs and lead you to your goals in life.
Rule 2: Avoid relying on your heart alone.
When it comes to relationships, our hearts always rule. There is nothing wrong with this. However, you need to careful not to rely on your emotions alone. Love is strong but it is usually not enough to sustain a serious relationship. You need to use your head from time to time. This is the same for your finances. You should avoid making financial decisions when you are feeling an emotional high – regardless if it is a positive or negative emotion. It will make you irrational and that could increase the risk of you making a wrong decision about your finances. So when it comes to choosing a date or your managing your finances, use both your heart and your head. It will lead you to a safer choice.
Rule 3: Finding a partner is not an overnight thing.
If you are looking for a serious relationship, do not rush into it. This is not something that happens overnight – yes, even if it is love at first sight. You should invest your time and energy into getting to know the person first before you make any commitments. Again, this is something that you can implement when it comes to financial management – specifically when it comes to improving your finances. You have to take as much time as you need to get to understand the financial choices that you will make. Rushing into it might cost you a lot of money. Think about your options carefully and get to know each one before you make a choice. If you cannot make a decision now, that is okay. Improving your finances usually takes time.
Rule 4: Look for a date in the right places.
Looking for a serious relationship means finding the right date in the right place. If are not keen on hanging out each and every night, do not look for a partner in a bar. Hang out in places that you know people with the same interests as you will go to. In the same manner, if you are looking to improve your finances, you need to go where you know you will be influenced to make the right choices. If you want to lower your spending, hanging out in the mall where the temptation is will probably make you fail. You need to go to the places where you will find the motivation to meet your goals.
Rule 5: Do not make yourself vulnerable.
The final dating rule that you can also use to manage your money is to avoid making yourself vulnerable. In love, it is always a good idea to leave some for yourself. It is okay to love as much as you can but reserve some of that love for yourself too. Being too vulnerable will increase the risk of you getting your heart broken. When it comes to your finances, it is important that you do not stretch yourself too thinly. This is true for the instances when you are planning to borrow money – or using your credit card for an expensive purchase. Do not borrow an amount that will stretch your budget to a point where you have nothing left for emergencies. If something happens, you might find that you borrowed too much money for you to keep up with the payments.
How to manage your finances to make your relationship stronger
If you think that the dating rules can be used to help you manage your money, then you should know that this is just the start of your journey. In case you get past the dating stage, the correlation between your money and relationship will not end. You have to start thinking about the next step – managing your finances together.
According to a study published on AllianzUSA.com, it is revealed that people who are planning to retire early are more likely to stay married – or are still in their first marriage. They also have the same habits when it comes to managing their money. Looking into the habits of early retirees is usually a good way to see who are the best managers of their finances. After all, those in early retirement are the people who have mastered the art of financial independence. You are really learn a lot from them.
Having mentioned that, you can see how important it is to manage your money together. Instead of managing your respective finances, you may find that doing it together will help make you stronger. It will also lower the risk of you fighting about money – even if you are a saver who fell in love with a spender (or vice versa).
Here are a couple of tips that will help couples manage their finances in harmony.
- Communicate – always. By talking about your money regularly, you get to update each other about your financial transactions. By hiding nothing, you get to build your trust with each other.
- Be honest – even if it will hurt. Sometimes, you fail to communicate with each other because you are scared that it will hurt the other. While you have no control over the feelings of your partner or spouse, it is important that you be honest with each other. Admit that it is your fault or if you made a mistake. The sooner you air out the problem, the faster you can solve it.
- Agree before deciding – in spite of disagreements. There are moments when you will disagree with certain financial decisions. That is okay. But make sure that you will not act on a decision until you have agreed on it. This will head off any arguments in the future.
- Treat each other with respect – despite different opinions. Even couples who are both savers or both spenders will have a different opinion sometimes. This is okay. Just make sure that you always treat each other’s opinions with respect – even if you think they are wrong.
- Set goals together – to strengthen your future. When you set goals as a couple, you get to imagine your future together. If there is one thing that can solidify your relationship, it is planning for your life together.
- Assign financial roles – no matter how big or small. Another thing that you need to look into involves the roles that you will be playing when you manage your money. One person may handle all the transactions but that does not mean the other should not have a role. Even a small role should be discussed clearly so there will be no misunderstanding between the two of you.
- Impose limitations – and follow through. To keep each other in check, make sure that you will set limitations as to how much you can spend and save. Make sure that the two of you agree on this so follow through will be easier to do.
- Work as a team – regardless of who is at fault. Finally, always work as a team. No matter who is to blame for the problems or difficulties that you are both facing, you need to work on it together. Remember that what cannot break you will only make your relationship stronger.
Did you know that the way you manage your money will dictate your behavior in a relationship.
