Did you know that even matters of the heart can influence your chances of becoming a financial success? Whoever you choose to be with you for the rest of your life can have a huge influence on how you can manage your finances. When you get married, your finances will be shared with your spouse. Whatever you earn and whatever they earn will be shared between the two of you. This is why any success that you will get will also be their success.
Of course, that also means any financial failures will also be shared. The truth is, it only takes one in every couple to destroy what they have both built financially. A spouse that keeps a huge amount of debt or an overspending problem can quickly eat up the assets and savings that they have built over the years.
A study published on NPR.org revealed that money is one of the sources of marital conflict in the average household. The study followed couples and asked them to create a diary report of every conflict. While money is not cited as the number one reason, it still lands in the 6th (husbands) and 5th (wives) place among the common topics in a marital conflict. Not only that, the study revealed that this topic causes a couple the highest level of stress. It is also the most threatening when considering the stability of the marriage.
Probably the most disturbing of the results in this study is that couples who tried to resolve conflicts with money tend to face a self-defeating cycle. This means they try to solve a money problem but either something negative happens or their methods are not effective. In any way, the problem remains unsolved and continues to cause stress and tension between the couple.
This is evidence that money can be a strong force between a couple. If you want to be a financial success, you need to scrutinize the money management behavior of your significant other. When you get married and you realize how problematic they can be when it comes to managing money, that can cause a serious rift in your relationship.
Study shows your romantic partner can influence your financial decisions
There is a study published on ScienceDaily.com that revealed how romantic partners are probably more influential than the parents of college students. The study is a joint effort of the University of Arizona, University of Alabama, University of Minnesota and the University of Wisconsin. It is still ongoing but the results are interesting enough for us to consider the influence that our significant others have in our financial life.
The study monitored the financial behavior of college students who are in a committed relationship. So far, the study revealed that there is a positive and direct influence coming from the more responsible money manager between a couple. Although the student is typically influenced by both their parents and romantic partners, it is the latter that has proven to have a bigger impact on their financial attitude.
Basically, the study tells us the if you want to be a financial success, you need to consider who you will fall in love with.
There are a couple of reasons why our romantic partners have this much effect on our financial behavior. Here are some of the reasons that we identified.
You want them to love you.
When you fall in love with someone, you naturally want them to feel the same way about you. There is nothing like being in love and being loved by the same person in return. This is why you will make an effort to please them. Whatever they believe in, you will try to change your perspective to understand what it is and possibly, apply the same in your life.
You see something in them that you admire.
One reason to fall in love with someone is because you see something in them that you admire – and probably want to emulate. It may be their confidence, positive outlook in life, and the way their handle their day to day decisions. This admiration oftentimes translates into respect. That encourages you to listen to their opinion and hold it in a high regard. When you come to them with a financial decision, their opinion will matter to you. The chances of you acting on what they say are actually very high.
You spend a lot of time with them.
Finally, your romantic partner will have a huge influence on your ability to be a financial success because you spend a lot of time with them. If they have the same drive – to be successful, then the two of you can work on that together. Having your decisions aligned with each other is a great motivator. Regardless of what you have to go through (e.g. pay off debt, save the extra money), you know that you are in it together. That makes the sacrifices worthwhile and easier to overcome.
This study proves how the person you fall in love with has a huge influence on your financial behavior. If you choose someone who has positive financial habits, you are most likely going to have the same habits.
How to find financial success if you are in love with a spender
Of course, it is not always easy for us to fall in love with a saver. After all, we don’t go around asking people about their finances on the first date. Sometimes, it takes time before we realize the financial habits of a person. In fact, some couples only find out about financial secrets when they are married. When their finances are already combined, that is the only time that they realize that the person they married is actually deep in debt.
If you want to have a marital financial bliss, it is very important that you get to know them even on a financial level. In case they do have a bad financial past, it has to be discussed so the other can decide if they can accept this or not. Otherwise, it can cause strain in the relationship early in the marriage.
While it will be difficult for a couple to find financial success if they have different money management habits, it is not impossible. Let us tell you the story of Talaat and Tai. They are the couple behind the site, HisandHerMoney.com. They provide financial advice to couples and their story is one of the success stories that you want to hear about.
Talaat was the one who brought debt into their marriage. He worked hard for the money – but he also spent a lot of effort spending it. His wife, Tai, was the wise one. You can say that he was the spender and she was the saver. While he was reckless, she was very disciplined and wise about their spending choices.
With Tai’s help, Talaat slowly got out of debt so his financial problems will not weigh down the financial success that his wife worked hard to achieve. While it was hard for Tai, she made a choice to love her husband – debt and all. The result is a successful story of getting out debt and a journey towards financial success.
There are some lessons that we can get from this remarkable couple.
- They decided to work on it together. Although the financial problem was caused by Talaat, both of them committed to the debt elimination process. Tai chose to love her husband and turn his debt into THEIR debt. This is very important between couples. If you really want to turn your finances around, you should work on it together.
- They made a commitment to get out of debt. The two of you should support each other and make a commitment to get your finances in a better position. It does not matter who is to blame. Both of you should commit to improving your finances. That means the two of you should be conscious about your spending choices and to make sacrifices when needed.
- They are honest about their finances. Finally, Talaat and Tai were honest enough to narrate their journey online. Telling the world about their journey towards financial success made them more accountable and responsible. It somehow increased the pressure to make the right decisions. Couples do not have to post everything online but they should be honest about their financial behavior with each other. This is very important. You cannot be successful financially if you are not honest with your spouse.