Your finances will play an important role in your life regardless of your age and status. You should know that your personal finances has to support your life milestones for it to turn out the way you want it to.
One of the milestones that surprisingly should consider your finances carefully is marriage. Ideally, you want to be with someone that you are compatible with – even in the financial aspects of your life. Would you really want to end up with someone who will put you in debt?
Of course, that is easily said than done. You can’t really choose who you fall in love with. And what if you fell in love with an impulsive spender? Regardless if you are a spender or a saver, having one or both of you with that compulsive buying habit could endanger your finances.
What happens with financially incompatible couples
If you didn’t know, financial incompatibility is one of the reason why people separate. In most cases, the saver gets frustrated with the reckless purchases of the spender while the latter resents the restrictions imposed by the former.
Here are three things that can happen when you do not see eye to eye when it comes to your finances.
Leads to mistrust. A relationship is all about trust – more so when you are married. But if you know that your partner or spouse has certain habits that you do not approve of, that can lead to a certain level of mistrust. For instance, when the wife is the spender and the husband sees that they are not meeting their monthly budget, the latter tends to assume that it is the other’s fault.
Leads to discontent. When one is being restricted of their usual habits, it can lead to the feeling of discontentment. You want to avoid this as much as possible because it breeds unhappiness in the relationship.
Leads to divorce. If you fail to do something about the trust and contentment issue, your marriage can lead to divorce. you don’t want to allow this to happen. When you divorce with debt, both of you can suffer in the end – regardless if both are at fault or not.
What to do if your spouse or partner is a compulsive shopper
We are not trying to say that you should stay away from a partner that is an impulsive spender. In fact, that is not the message here. There are spenders and savers who can live with each other without a problem. What we want you to do is to find a way to work it out despite your financial differences. We are all different and if you cannot live that, it will be hard for you to find a partner.
So what can you do is you are in love with an impulsive spender? The difference is a challenge but it is not insurmountable. Here are tips of what you can do.
Accept your differences. When you are in a relationship with someone, you accept all of their shortcomings but at the same time, you should also let them know of your concerns about their habits.
Create a budget together. Another thing that you can do is to create a budget together. This will help you come up with a budget that the two of you can live with. You may think that certain expenses are unnecessary but your spouse feels strongly about having a budget for it. Compromise and consider each other’s feelings about the expenses. If you want help with a budget, you can use the many templates available online. We suggest that you visit Budgetworksheet.org or the Google Drive compilation of templates to find the one that you can use for your household.
Put spending limits on expense categories. You want to satisfy the urges of your spouse and that can be done but with restrictions. Set a limit for clothing or shopping expenses and the two of you should make a commitment to submit to it.
Consider letting go of credit cards. You want to take away credit cards from the reach of your spouse to avoid temptations. Your spouse should understand that there are more important expenses that they must take care of.
Shop together. To help understand what makes your partner purchase the way he/she does, always shop together. Not only will you spend time together, you can also discuss purchases between each other.
Make a commitment to be always honest about your finances. You want to get rid of the mistrust so try not to keep any secrets from your spouse or partner. Always be honest and try not to be too harsh if your other half makes some financial mistakes.
In the end, it all boils down to communication. Although you may be different, if you air out your concerns, you can work out and learn to live with these differences. Do not assume that not talking about it will make the relationship stronger. Sometimes, you may have to fight just so you can understand each other. That is how you can make your relationship grow and mature as you continue living with each other.
Here is a video about how you can handle your finances whether you are in a relationship or in a marriage.